P.S : I "STILL" Love You ...!!!!

3 days… It has been 3 days since anybody has seen him. No news. No trails. Why would he even do that!!! I was doing my best to take care of him, right? Now they keep me worrying that he is never to return. I want to keep my hopes in high spirits.

We were so happy together. He was always there for me when I needed a shoulder. And I would stand against the world for him. It was hard for me to be without him even over a weekend. He used to wait and wait and wait till its Sunday evening, so that we meet up again and be together. Aaahhh!!! Nobody has ever loved me the way he used to.

Those kisses and hugs were all of so much affection and passion. He loved leaning on my lap on every starry night. He loved it when I fed him with my hands. J. I was never so affectionate to anybody ever before. He was renowned even at my work place and they had fables built-up for our sweet connection. I had even introduced him to a couple of my colleagues as well J.

 

[…Flashing back a few years...Dec 26^th 2006...]

AAArrrrrrggghhhh…!!!! My feet are dirty and I don’t have a choice other than to walk, walk and walk in the muddy rain. Capital city was clad in slurpy chocolate that day, because of the rain. A day after Christmas. Julie and I exchanged our Christmas gifts in the Fast Passenger bus. J. It was Julie’s birthday that day. Know what? You won’t believe!!! She had this megalomania of being born on a Christmas day. But later in 2006, she found out that it was a slight miscalculation by the astrologer. :D… Phew!!! One gone down…

We had to find a place to stay. On our mission to “gain real time work experience” and to check out IT geeks, we headed to the Capital city in search of internship openings as part of our curriculum exercises.

We followed the pointers and the directions. Finally reached my 7 year destiny. [Nobody goes out of here very easily]. I pushed the gate doors open into the spooky green cob web.  There he was standing looking at me with his wide open round black eyes. Who knew that one day he would become one of the most important guys in my life!! 

Nobody was around. I walked towards him and was just about to open a friendly conversation and suddenly the mess lady came over and poured on us all the details of the stay and food and the rates, and even the rules. Decisions were quick, except for Penny. Her father had to come and inspect the place twice to get her the admission fees.

He had a gloomy face which caught my attention and I wanted to keep him happy how much ever I could. From day one, we became friends and my days and nights were full and never empty anymore.

Penny and I were literally having a race of rage to spend a minute more with him and to please him in every possible way. I was content that I own him as “mine”, but Penny had her red heart beat for him, just the way I did. I pretended to not notice. But lucky for her, subject to market risks I had to invest next two years away from him [I got a job, 800Kms away from him L]. Life took a weird-o-weird dive into deep shi*. Mostly daily calls, emails and such shared pictures kept the “fun-loving me” alive in the happening yet boring city. Know what? I never sang a tune back there. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. [I sing all the time. Be at work or off-work]. I somehow managed a couple of trips to and fro and eventually settled down in the cob web [the dormitory]. Julie’s marriage was one of those memorable trips :P. And not farther in time was Penny’s marriage leaving him all to myself to love and to care for.

 

 [hehehehehe]

He had his own food interests and his other interests included new good looking tall legs. For the ill-health he has faced, both critical and simple, For the fights he has been into, For the attacks he had to face from people around, For his secret and evident fears and dislikes, either I took the heat of the moment or burst into flames in the outrage of the situation.

 

 

[Flashing some years forward...]

A break for lunch… Meeeow!! Meeeow!!! [That’s how my phone rings] My warden has a good news to share. “HE IS BACK”. I heard it with half an ear and rushed back to see him, though weak, but back in my arms. One of the most grateful moments in my life. He was down with jaundice.

Mom grew fast and furious on my mention about how much I wanted him to be a part of my life. I had to keep annoying her for a pretty huge volume of TIME, to put this idea upto Dad’s desk. To my surprise, he instantly approved the proposal and I literally floated in air for a fraction of a second to tap my feet :D.

He never expressed his love for me in words, but I could very well see those droplets of love in his twinkling dark eyes. J. He came home and we all were happy with him around. His affable nature and lovely looks attracted everybody at home and he very soon grabbed a very special place at home.

[Now...]

He hated water. I had to pull him and lock him up in the bathroom to give him a bath. He hated bread and milk, but loved sugar. He ate just fish and chicken. He was scared of lightening and crackers. He liked good looking girls. He fought with cats and monkeys and often caught scars on face and properly got his eyeballs scratched.  He left me again for the second time. But, this time he did wait for me, to give me a goodbye kiss. J.

My dhonu, the naughtiest, spoilt and most stubborn 8 year old PUPPY. His best was, over a week without food because he was not served chicken or fish. He made sure that I was brought to my knees and flew kites of my vegan principles for his obstinacy. J. In return of the favour I loved to dress him up in ladies slips and ribbons tied to his ear lobes :P.. [he looked super cute]. His Leash Locket still jingles closeby just the way it sounded when he climbed the stairs. J 

 

P.S: I Love you....

 

The festival

The morning was very tough. My eyelids were trying to creak each other open by 9 :15 AM. Not being a Morning person is not a mistake. After two months of “treatment holiday” and back to office was a boring routine. But the pull back was that I got to see him (my fiancée, now Companion) everyday. J .

I swipe in through the door and look for his drooping forward face, yet looking at glass door, to see my smile. Awww… !!! I have always wanted to hold it in my palm. :P . He sends me emails with his beautiful thoughts and we could romance over the office live chat. :D.

Yeah so as I was saying. For all this, I had to rush to office. It was my chance to know him and let him know me. So I somehow had to show it up as the favourite day of the year and I had even planned a couple of conversation starters for our tea together. :P

Oh. Forgot to tell you. My favourite day of the year, coz you get money on this day. And that’s a hell lot of money. :P.. Vishu is the festival of welcoming spring. Land of the Gods gets yellow clad and shopping gets fun with all the discounts on dresses. :D. One of my office story episodes had a Vishu “first sight” of the day setup for all of our roomies to enjoy the rest of the year. Sitara and I had a daring hop to grab a twig of the golden shower. That was actually my first ever Vishu decoration.

At present, the nature of the festival has took a deviation as in “Give and take”. Flashing back a fewer years, the policy was “Take Away”. Anyhow, the money involved was not dependent on anything. It could shoot up or even drop down dead. There are no classifications. “Favouritism” to some extent helped and on how much you reach on time. Yes. We literally had rallies planned that morning on our lean bikes.

It was WAAAAARRRRR…  The festival fragrances lasted for a week or two. But by the end of the day it was to be decided who won the title from “Lady Luck”. Naahhh.. It was never me. Parul had a good shot. Her, “that” side of the family had a pleasing siblings competition set. So she usually wins leaving Matt and me constantly fretting about our side “mean folks”.

Matt used to spend his collection on cricket balls and fancy goggles, belts and stamp collections. That reminds me of the cold and the nuclear wars that broke out in the 90’s at our “home sweet home” during the Philatelic age. |D.

At the age of 6, I started my business mind to work on the money making strategies and winning more to hoard. I used to save more hundreds than Matt as I never wanted to spend the silver pieces I had in my setsquare box. K. I have a historical record for the least spent on a “Tour of less than 8 hours”. My spent was a penny, at the beach for the giant wheel ride ticket. Even the ice cream couldn’t tempt my instincts. I brought back home the remaining 9 and earned a hug at the age of 8. :D. A humble born.

If I weren’t into the Technology of Information, I would have been into the arts. Yeah. The real drawing stuff. My pencil portrayals enhanced our exterior walls. :D. My talent had so much zeal that mom and dad gave a long break to the idea of repainting the house. But the repaint idea cost me all my life savings. L. The free exhibitions caught no interest to my mom’s disinterest in the remarkable state of art portraits and imaginations of my magnificent melon. She had the whole house repainted with my sweat and effort and I couldn’t hold my rolling tear.

Lessons learnt.

1.     Never display your talent on concrete objects. Have it portrayed on your own possessions to avoid damage and market risks. I tactically started filing my valuable brain crushing pieces of art.

2.     Know the actual reason for lending wealth to your mom. Upon receipt of satisfactory explanations, have the details recorded with signatures of both the parties and a witness. [Many cases, emotion can be used as a tool to fool you. Never fall for it]

By the way, our first ever Vishu was really good and after frequent nagging and bullying, he handed over a 5 and I have the souvenir kept in the memory of our first badger session. ;)

 

The Sand "Witch"

“Boo hoo..!!!! She will pull my tongue out. Sob… sob… L .. Icecream..??? Promise??? ” That was the most terrifying ‘Hanging out with the dentist' session.

She literally cut my lucky teeth [I had a gap between my front teeth] off. Honestly I had “hard” feelings in the beginning but as time of the day passed by, my gums grew heavier than my heart. The unlimited vanilla ice cream supply and the trump cards game with Matt in the moonlight (Courtesy: The load balancing technique of the electricity supply department J !!! ) was a soother.

Multiple sittings down the lane of my teenage anxieties, I insisted, motivated, coaxed and begged the doctor to convince my predecessor [I meant, ma MOM] to do some cosmetic treatments on my lovely pearly whites [or Should I say my pearls got their colour from the Corals  L]

Ofcourse she didn’t agree and she even convinced my dentist that I am too young for such crown crap.

I fastened my embarrassment into floral and comic designs of my hankie. There were only sound effects to my laughing gestures most of the time. :D

That was not a bad idea at all. This way my loud chuckles and giggles were never captive and as a BONUS, it appeared that I am a very gentle and well behaved young girl. Ahhh haaa…!!!! Nailed-it !!!! :D

 
 
Higher studies don’t just earn you a degree and some crazy company, but also the brave heart to challenge tormenters for having a sunflower smile with sharp corn kernels. :D. Those canines actually gave me a nickname “The doggy face” K. Yup. Totally.

One time - “Do you mind letting others sleep? There are people who are not involved in your celebration.” I hid behind the square pillars in front of our dorm walkway, though it couldn’t cover much of me from the yelling young lady downstairs. (giggles). We all went inside, locked the room and again continued the laugh-out-loud everyday episode.

It totally was a defect in manufacturing. I came with a louder sound system without a sound control option. :S.

Even he used to love me silently for my infectious laughter during his 2.5-year-crush on me. Warnings, interrogations, interventions and even eliminations from a team never got me slow or anymore disheartened.

Another time - It was about 9 or 10 at night. Breathless silence and shadows in the darkness. Regina enters the room and didn’t want to wake the other sleepy heads. She walked further towards the deep dark.

BANG !!!!!! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP …. !!!!! BOOOOOO…!!!!!

It turns around and the face with long canines and sturdy curls is seen in the red blue and pink.

BWAHAHAHA…!!!!!

KHEEKHEEKHEEE…!!!! :D :D:D:D

SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM…!!!! YEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP…!!!

She blacked out for 10 seconds and did not utter a word for the next 45 minutes. We shuddered her and shook her off the shock.

Regina [my roomie] was put to sleep on Ann’s bed to keep the shaking tree leaves outside the window unnoticed. We didn’t want to terrify an already terrified Regina whose bedside windows always had swaying tree barks.

The Crowd [Half the ladies in the vicinity] just started to dissolve, silently discussing. [Psstt !!! Nobody really knows (till date), why she passed out…  :D].

This was the real House of Horrors enacted by Me [Centre Character- played the ghost], Ann [Script and Direction] and Penny [Supporting Role].

What do I do? Regina used to stare at me, my teeth, my open curls and the worst of all my Snickers. L. She literally, really, seriously thought I was a witch and had shared her state of mind to whomever she met. Seriously, did she have to do that?!!??!  L….

Just like any media event, this was in the limelight for a while.  Icing on the cake : I had to laugh along to join the scary fun….  NGHEEEEE NGHEEEEEE…. [I always am fond of my looks though]. I somehow had to “return the favour” (devil speaks).

And I am not proud about my part in the role-play. Regina and I were never friends, but I am sure she can never forget me neither can I. :P

But don’t you think, this incident trembled me all the way. :D.

The Witch says "Yeeeeeeiiiiiiii…… " :P (I still have my devil horns)

 

ROFL. BWAHAHAHAAHAHA...!!!!!! 

 

To my buddy Archie (He makes a lot of fun ): Having yellow teeth is actually good[And I still have a fan following for my looks]-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-335350/Nothing-tooth.html

 

The Fun is On the line

Hmmmm… This is a good deal right…!!!  $0.0001 for a click or was it $ 0.00001? Not sure. But anyways getting paid in dollars is a great thing. :D

After leaving a job that pays you a 1000 bucks a day, isn’t it hard to sit and ponder about it the whole day and whine on all the shopping and eating you were free to do with the money you earnL.

So I decided to find another job that pays me even when I sit at home and “work”.

But man! Believe me. It’s backbreaking work.

You find a job – Pay them and you’re hired.

You find a free job – employers never showup ever.

You pay them and start working – it’s a hard row to hoe. Take my word: you will never finish it on time.

But then! better than watching all the repeat shows in the house wives’ TV channel all day through.

By the way, I don’t really understand how they manage to broadcast the drama series over and over 3 times a day J. That’s huge viewership. Upon God. We have people who are hell bent that they don’t miss any minute.

As I was saying; staying idle at home, I developed an Obsession that became a Compulsion that eventually turned in to Disorder which enticed me to run around our new apartment and clean the after effects of moving in. I literally sanitized the place and went on looking for more insanitation as each day passed by. 

Self-realization is something that makes you realize that you never know what you have until you know that it’s gone. Ahem! I think I conveyed it right. Anyways after going through a crazy tour of the house for a week, reality slapped me in the face. I ran to SWEEPEA (that’s what I call my laptop) and there laid the stone to my quest for a paid position “once again”.

I first had to think about why I didn’t like my job. It required a thorough backtracking of the series of happenings. The coil rewound and suddenly the tape got tangled and at a glance I could see my static computer screen, chairs in front of me and people on them looking behind and sending their “feel sorrow for the misfortune” waves. Anger, annoyance and irritation were flushing into my ears. BINGO…!!! It was my mad boss blowing a fuse as usual through the phone. My eyes grew wide open.

Bosses are like a math problem. You have enough problems of your own and the math problem adds up to those. Know what. I still don’t understand why we learnt all those math equations, logs and calcs. Oh Man...!!!

May be our math teacher wanted to prepare us to face the real life problems with more courage. And I was certain to go forward with one less problem in my Life – “The Boss”.

Remember “when the boss is away, work becomes a holiday” [Portuguese proverb]. J

The treasure hunt is still ON. I don’t have a map or a compass to control my route. But now I don’t hear the “That’s not how it works. “ in the background of my day. J

The "Final" Destiny

The two weeks went in a very chaotic mode. I still couldn’t decide what to get him for our very first wedding anniversary.

Recollecting the series of festivities, that happened since we were together.

My birthday – iPod shuffle

Valentine day’s – Broken cupid kiss mug   (Courtesy: The Online Store packers and the courier team)

His Birthday: A Fossil Watch (Casual heavy accessory not allowed at office and Now “I” wear it when we step out for grocery shopping on weekends).

These were before our wedlock. Aahhh!!! Those were the days of real tingling and ticklish finger for each hand holding ritual that was supposed to happen as a couple. The “I really wanna see you” s were all as meaningful as a couple coz u seldom get to meet each other.

Next was the Big Day: We were tying the knot. J . I was splashing happiness all over like a water sprinkler does to a lawn. J

It was going to be exactly a year after the day and I am still not ready with a thought of what to gift him. The road through internet will always be slower as ever. It might take a week or two to get it delivered.

I had got habituated to naughty nosy and sarcastic friends and so their gift ideas could bring to the things I should not get him as a gift. A bibliophilic husband is very hard to impress and surprise. The backrest shelf of my queen sized bed already had enough for his and even my diet for another year or so. So I gave up the idea of another book.

Out of office stress, you know “the work stress”, I took a tea break and sat in contemplation and started scribbling my mind. It turned out to be a letter to my husband. “Perfect” :D . “How much more romantic can I be?”  was the expression of accomplishment on my tired face. I posted it to him at my own address and slept peacefully to a lovely weekend.

Fridays and weekends are the best days of the week. You know why? All the other days are “Getting there days”. J. Especially Fridays give me a feel of walking out into a fresh fragrant garden with a cool breeze and a full day supply of coke and finger chips.

Nikki (my nephew and family who had come to visit) had a hard time talking to me. I was told that he was shy talking to good looking females (the fact is evident).

Once the four zeroes (00:00) strike I could handover the two pairs of non-leather reversible formal belts secretly hidden in my office bag. J. Chilled Sprite is the best cocktail topping for a Captain Morgan Recipe. Yummy yum.

Yippie..!! All set. And Wait… Wait.. Wait … zzzzzzz… buzzzz…. No dozing off… Wait … Wait??? What time is it? OMG :O… It’s 2:30 in the morning…

Sneak Peak…!!!

TV flickers ..“… Hasn’t it been a roller coaster… puts in a splendid ball and the German defenders are caught napping. But Palacio's first touch is  ” [Guys.. Please don’t expect me to redo the highlights]. FIFA World Cup Finals.

That’s when I remembered Maradona’s words with all my heart – “…  Messi, I could give you heaven if possible…"
 

Prince charming entered, pink cheeks and panting, with an adrenaline gush and probably, a smug on his face (I didn’t give it a glance though).

The moonlight in the room started to mix itself with self-reproach. His fabricated wistful appearance grew me more annoyed.

4:00 AM - I continued watching Big Bang theory episode 2 Season 6. (giggles) It’s too funny, guys. The Howard in the space station episode. (hehehehe). I actually was enjoying the anniversary night “all by myself” watching 5 of those hilarious episodes.

The only displeasure I had at the moment was that he received my passionate letter the very day. I in fact wished “Back to the future” movie was actual so that I could stop myself from getting the “letter” idea. I could have relaxed and enjoyed two peaceful weeks. But I somehow managed to bring-in a twinkling tear to make him feel more ashamed of missing the first anniversary: happy hours with such a lovely beautiful caring and what not WIFE.  Yes!!!!

J

 

                                                          

The caterpillar ride

The misty window view of the green blunt watercolour splashes. I held window bars for a clearer view. Aah aah.. No Clue. An year and half old, in a little white frock with red lace on it, I was still trying to figure out what the huge dark grey rubbles [those were elephants :P] were doing. That’s all what I remember about my first train journey, to Periyar wildlife sanctuary.

 As a wiggly teen, I always had a love to travel to places, far far away just for the sake of getting out of the repetitive family routine, school chores and same scent of mangoes in our backyard. Being deprived of voyage ventures, my eye balls sprung out for every shortest travelogue I got to hear from my “then” companions - Sunny, Ellen and Parul.

Long travels and seeing different faces was the desire that lured me to get me a college  admission in a bit far away place. Waow!! People, new faces, new life styles all bewitched me for a pretty good portion of my spinster era.

One of India’s future movie talents’ had to once face Uncle Vivan’s straight drive when filming his best performance with my looks in an episode of a rail cruise.

The jhuk- jhuk tour has always been a “Rocking” encounter. When you are mentally prepared for a “take a trip”, pack your backpack with:

A small folding table knife [I will explain why]
Loud music so that you don’t sleep
A travel blanket
Water – 1 bottle [just incase you feel dizzy]

Add ons : Toilet essentials – sanitizer, tissues and toilet seat covers

Being a bride’s maid at Patty’s wedding was a big deal in our dormitory. The most excited lot gradually lessened down to a number 3 to plan and cherish the celebration. The only good catch was the hot ticket examiner and dinner in the middle of the night [in the dark]. A real nightmare was to see a vagabond standing at the foot of my sleeper couch and scribbling on it. I had no hope that I would get my screechy shrill voice back to its vibrations. The cabin seemed to be a “House of Wax” and expecting the psycho to pour on me anytime, I had caught hold of the knife and made up my mind to tear him apart if he proceeded any further. The other two Best bride’s maids [Angie and Aisha] who were giving me company, were facedown dreaming with satisfied smiles. You get those air guns online at a very reasonable price. I literally decided to keep one handy, just incase.

On a different note, I have had sessions of Antakshari [A ending letter movie songs game] competition at the “ladies only” slot in the InterCity travel. That’s the time when I realized that the femininity was so responsible at home that they used to mince vegetables for dinner in the train on their way back home. Hail Womanhood!!! :P

Another happy piece was, romancing in the bracing wind at the door step. It actually pulled in a few green eyed macho attraction :P. (Coz I looked real hot that day :P). We stood against each other and wanted to adventurously do a kiss in public, which we succeeded to secretly achieve.

Phew!! On the brighter side of my “Now” life, I have eradicated those 12-14 hour monthly bi-monthly inescapable journeys on buses and trains subject to ticket availability.

[Periyar Wildlife Santuary: An Awesome Elephant and tiger reserve in Iddukki district, Kerala].